Relationships are life’s primary treasure but they go the wrong way when there is a development of ego in either person in the relationship. You will find that people are always satisfied with those who are humble. Also the relationships of the ones, who are egoless, are problem-free and free of differences of opinions. It is also said that the relationship in which either person learns to sacrifice his or her ego at the right time and when required, is the one in which there is continuous peace and goodwill. Very often the only reason for blockages in a relationship is the inability to sacrifice the I, the me and the my. It sometimes seems very strange but love is lost in so many relationships because of the inability to mould and sacrifice the ego and become as the other person expects you to be. Differences of opinions are often seen in all relationships but to be able to solve them and rise above them is the challenge which actually every human being has to face at some point of time or the other. All of us desire for love filled relationships but are we able to make that much needed sacrificial bow? What that means? Something like – I lose or I am not always right or Please go ahead of me or You take charge or even accepting that – You are better than me.

Sometimes it is seen in many different types of relationships in the family or in the office, that at first everything is fine and then as time passes and two people come closer to each other, there are misunderstandings. The relationship becomes like a boat without a rudder and it loses its direction. Why does this happen and why not right at the beginning? Initially the hearts are close and everything is easy like making the sacrifice and becoming the less dominant person in the relationship. But slowly the two people will start taking each other for granted and what seemed a beautiful relationship full of understanding becomes filled with thorns of sorrow and personality clashes.

Whenever you come into contact with another person, see to it that you are yourself but at the same time you give the other person space by letting him or her be themselves. What that means is that let the other person express themselves in a way they want to and not necessarily in a way that you want them to express or act. They shouldn’t be a puppet in your hands. Tell them, guide them, but always be ready to sacrifice your opinion, your view point, attachment to your virtue or particular sanskara which you think is absolutely right and perfect. Also be ready to let the other person’s opinion rule the situation involving the two of you. Some people find this as the most difficult thing to do in a relationship and this requires spiritual power and also a lot of love inside you for the other person. Also, we need qualities like humility and contentment, which are extremely important. We are talking about any relationship – at home or in your friend circle or anywhere else; with the opposite gender or with the same gender; with your child or with your boss, with a friend or with your spouse.

There is a fine line between remaining in a high self-esteem about what you think is right and what you know about a particular situation and letting the other person also contribute in that thought process. What that means is you need to allow the other person to enter that personal space of your thought process. Very often we construct walls around our thinking process and don’t let the other person enter it because of the fear that the other person might dominate that space and also the attachment to one’s own space. Remember the ones who bow down and are comfortable with people’s views and give them as much respect as their own opinions and view points are the rulers of everyone’s hearts. People are not ruled by power but their hearts are filled with love to get their love and respect in return. And that happens by keeping the other ahead of you in interactions not only on a physical level but also on a thought level and the level of emotions.

Remember that in every relationship the person who keeps the other ahead is the one who leads the relationship although it may seem otherwise. Keeping the other ahead means saying yes to the other person even if at times you do not agree with the other person’s opinion in a particular matter of common interest. Very often in offices and in homes; you will see at some places, people are so closely knit together. At some other ones, there are negative energy as well as negative word exchanges due to different ways of how people manage the relationships. At one place, the two office colleagues have such a beautiful bond with each other where a day at the office is like a smooth ride and they will never quarrel with each other. On the other hand, in another office, two different people just cannot work with each other and cannot see eye to eye. The main reason for this is simple – I am smarter than you or I am more efficient or I work harder than you or I am more intelligent etc. Such thoughts spoil the relationship and don’t let it become a beautiful bond full of love and closeness.

They say – forget the differences and become friends. But an important point to note that differences between any two people will always exist. There are no two people with exactly the same view points and ideas. But these differences have to be forgotten. In other words they have to be resolved. That is the key to success. Success in an office is not measured only by your talents and how well you perform alone but also by how well you handle your relationships or how sweet and humble you are. Such people are respected immensely in a workplace. People want to be in their company much more than the ones who are egoistic and extremely rigid in their views and are unable to bow down or sacrifice the ego when required. Remember life is short. So why not enjoy each day with your parent, your spouse, your office friend, your mother-in-law, whoever it may be. They all matter to you and you all matter to them. So cherish their blessings by making the ego sacrifice.

Reference:

Brahma Kumaris

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